happened for me today... I was driving D to school today and while we were listening to the radio, the DJ was talking about a tragedy that occurred this past weekend when a father was hit by a drunk driver and the accident killed three children. The community came together and has raised a lot of money for the family. Well the DJ says "there isn't enough money in the world that can give this family peace but this money will help them through this difficult time. At that point my son says "Mom, that money can bring them happiness", I quickly interjected and told him " the love I have for you is far greater than any money in the world. Well, he continued to tell me " Mom, they can use that money to adopt more children they can love."
That is one of the proudest moments in my life as D'Angelo's mother. I wanted to grab him, hug him and kiss him. I told him that he was absolutely right and that I was very proud of him because he saw the good that this family can do for someone else.
I'll have to go back many year's ago for you to understand why this conversation with my son means the world to me. When I was fifteen years old I was told that I could never have children. At that age, children were the farthest thing in my mind. I had many cousins that I took care of and loved them and that was all I needed in my life.
Many years later, I was married and we both knew that having children wasn't possible but we knew we had options. I went through a lot of "why me", why can't I have a child when so many women have them and don't want them. I was mad, truly mad but it was, what it was and I dealt with it the best way I knew how. We decided to adopt and went through the necessary courses. Unfortunately the system doesn't work very well, and there were no babies for adoption. They strongly believe in reunification and the state gives birth parents many chances before placing the child for adoption. I wanted to adopt a newborn, I wanted to get up every two hours for feeding, I wanted to watch my baby turn, teach my baby to crawl, walk and talk. I wanted it but I couldn't have it.
My wish came true and God definitely heard my prayers. My son was born and that was the happiest and scariest day of my life. Women have nine months to prepare for their child's arrival. I had one month to do it all. It wasn't real to me until the doted line was signed 48 hours after he was born.
I always wanted him to know he was adopted. I wanted him to hear it from me because I am a firm believer that honesty is the best policy. I didn't want to keep that from him and have him find out through someone other than myself. I began explaining it to him when he was about two years old but when he was five was when all the questions really started coming. I know he still has many questions and I'm ready to answer them as honestly as I can but I'm so proud knowing that he is OK with what adoption is. He doesn't feel different than his friends because that would devastate me...
Today, I know he'll overcome any obstacles he faces because he truly knows that he is my life and my love for him can withstand anything that comes our way.
Goodnight...
